You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize