Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
