So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
