bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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