rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
