He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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