Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
