I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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