and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
