I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
