I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
