so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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