dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
