You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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