fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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