In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was born a porn star she said
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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