A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
