I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
