After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
