Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
