Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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