why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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