in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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