it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
