the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
