Your mouth is God's brothel.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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