I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
