she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
