standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
