So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
