"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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