Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just made my gag reflex go away.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
