it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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