This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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