your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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