i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize