i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
