I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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