The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
