Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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