Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
