We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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