I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize