it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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