sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
