sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
