If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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