yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize