a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
