You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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