but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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