...so i touched it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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