been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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