Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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