I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
