I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
