Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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