'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
