After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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