If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
