Banned from zoo.
Again?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
