Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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